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  • (Hype)

    I swear, you could take any topic or item at all, put it in the proper affluent unethical hands and the sheep consumer will go for it – in record numbers to boot. The secret ingredient? – hype. This is nothing new. I’m conjecturing the slimy spitball snake oil salesman has been around since before the holy city of Ordin on the planet Nebucula. There are several unethical but extraordinary factors at place that lead to his success. I shall choose three.
    One is the language. Excessive use of hyperbola (notice the root word?) in the way of overused yet sheep stimulating adjectives such as fantastic, amazing, beautiful, and super have become the norm. Let’s just say the swineball pushy swindler has a thick thesaurus. No negatives allowed. Truth abiding words like breakable, putrid, cheap, poisonous, grimy, and rat-handled have no home here.
    Another is testimony. Dr. Finnigan from Harvard, the renowned author James Tonne, and simple Joe Trucker from Texas all say it’s the most (insert two adjectives from above list) of anything even close. Why, even Mary from Marmouth swears by the stuff. These guys are as fictional as Pooh Bear, Bullwinkle, and Dingbat the Dinosaur.
    Then there is the thickness of the consumer. Not for a moment can this Mister or Missus just sit down and ask themselves one simple question: “Do I actually need this thing?” 99% of the time the answer is ‘No.” Were you at the whim of the Reaper yesterday? Will the rest of your days be sordid adventures in various deep states of depression and angst? Are the mosquitoes and cockroaches going to invade the hovel if you don’t make the purchase? This very minute?
    Let’s put it simpler. If them guys can sell a pet rock or cheaper (by a penny a year) long distance rates, they can sell anything.