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Chip Larson: Local Candidate Endorsed by The Chester Mirror

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Your Trusted Source for Chestermere SATIRE By Dr. Preston Pouteaux
chester mirror

The editorial board of The Chester Mirror is pleased to profile, and officially endorse, local lumberjack legend Chip Larson, for Chestermere. Chip was born in a humble log home near the Starbucks and says he loves their maple lattes. Chip took on the family lumberjack trade in 2012, but he has been felling trees since he was just 18 months old. “I guess choppin’ is in my bones,” said Larson in a recent sit down interview with the Chester Mirror.

Larson is a fixture in Chestermere, often seen carrying his chain saw and sporting fresh plaids. “Ours is a mighty fine city,” he offers, while sharpening his blade. Chip is a man of few words but he has some big ideas about how to make Chestermere a better place.

When asked why he is running for Chestermere, Chip took a few minutes to reflect, “well, I hear this town needs some cuttin’ and I know cutting’,” he said. “I’m goin’ to cut taxes. That’s easy. Next I’ll cut some services, you bet. And when I heard that they want to cut down them big trees around the golf course, well I knew I found my callin’. We’ll have that place cleared in a jiffy, you won’t even know we had a green space in this town after I’m done! Cuttin’ and choppin’ is a Chip Larson promise!”

Chip also aims to break the glass ceiling in Chestermere politics. Since 1996 Chestermere has not had a single woodcutter on city council. “I’m fixin’ to change that,” said Chip.

Chip’s platform includes reverting most expensive paved road ways to gravel logging trails, which he says will save a lot of money. Also, he proposes to re-introduce moose to the local parks to replace lawn-mowers, and may replace the fire department with a water bomber and hotshot crew, “let me tell you, I know guys can cut a fire line through our city faster than you can holler,” offered Chip.

The Chester Mirror is pleased to endorse Chip Larson as a man who chops first, and thinks second.

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